Tucker Carlson Has a New Solution for Societal Collapse: Men Tanning Their Balls

Tucker Carlson has a new special on Fox Nation, the streaming platform where Fox News tries to hide some of its more extreme content.

It’s … uhh … yeah … well, maybe just take a look at the trailer:

There are jacked, shirtless men wrestling. There are jacked, shirtless men chugging raw eggs. There are jacked, shirtless men obliterating bottles of canola oil with assault rifles. There are jacked, shirtless men milking cows. There are even jacked, shirtless men standing on rocks, posing like Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man as a mini monolith illuminates their nether regions.

It’s hard to know where to begin with all of this. We’d probably need a therapist to really get into it. We can at least say this particular special, “The End of Men,” doesn’t seem like it’s going to claim that the attack on the Capitol last Jan. 6 was a false flag, like last year’s “Patriot Purge” did. So that’s good.

We also now know what’s going on with the guy on the rock exposing his private parts to a wash of red light. He was tanning his balls. Carlson endorsed the practice in the special as one of several ways men can return themselves to testosterone-fueled dominance, which the special argues is necessary for society to “reestablish order” after collapse.

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“So, obviously, half the viewers right now are like, ‘What? Testicle tanning? That’s crazy!’” Carlson says. “But my view is, OK, testosterone levels have crashed and nobody says anything about it. That’s crazy. So why is it crazy to seek solutions?”

“It’s not crazy to seek solutions,” Carlson’s guest, fitness professional Andrew McGovern, responds, before describing the treatment as “bromeopathy.”

It doesn’t seem like McGovern’s wisdom quelled many concerns about ball tanning. Carlson then brought on frequent guest Kid Rock, who was flabbergasted by the concept. Carlson poses the same question to the rocker that he posed to McGovern. “Don’t you think at this point, when so many of the therapies, the paths they’ve told us to take, have turned out to be dead ends that really hurt people, why wouldn’t open-minded people seek new solutions?” he asks.

Kid Rock, like the rest of us, has absolutely no idea what Carlson was talking about. “I don’t know what the hell is going on in this world,” he says. “I’m not even sure if I understood that question. Some days I just want to stop this planet and get off.”

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