‘We rolled out the red carpet for Donald Trump – and he’s taken a dump on it’

It is the decent majority of ­Americans I feel most sorry for.

Once again, the man they elected to represent them has the red carpet rolled out for him by a solid ally, and he chooses to take a dump on it, walk his mess into their house and leave a stench that makes his hosts nauseous and outraged.

Those tens of thousands of protesters who yesterday took to the streets that Donald Trump was steered away from were accused by his friends over here of endangering Britain’s future.

They were told that insulting America’s leader would threaten the Special Relationship. But Trump’s incendiary eviscerating of Theresa May’s Brexit plans, indeed her political credibility, on the eve of crucial talks has put that ­relationship into a specialist burns unit.

The interview he gave to a British newspaper owned by Rupert Murdoch (presumably as payback for running Fox News as a North Korean-style Trump propaganda channel), which he typically later claimed to be “fake news”, took the humiliating of British Prime Ministers by US Presidents to a new low. And actually made you feel sorry for May.

At least George Bush showed kindness to his poodle in public. He may have hollered the odd “yo, Blair!” to bring him to heel, but generally rewarded him with treats, let him sit on his lap at his Texas ranch and stroked him in Congress.

But Trump regularly treats May so cruelly you half expect to see Paul O’Grady come marching in, swear at him and whisk her off to Battersea Dogs Home… to be put down with kindness.

It wasn’t just the content of the interview, but the timing. As he was being schmoozed and fawned over by the PM at a no-expense-spared black-tie dinner at Blenheim Palace, details of his treacherous mauling of her were going online.

He’s like a psychotic serial killer who can’t help attacking those who try to help him. And because he can’t be bothered to study facts, in case they get in the way of his version of the truth, he lashes out with a pitiful ignorance.

He said of her Brexit White Paper: “The deal she’s striking is a much differ­­ent deal than the one people voted on.”

Voters weren’t offered any deal. Just two boxes. And the invitation to tick one if you felt life gave you a rough deal and Brexit would somehow make it better.

On immigration: “It has changed the fabric of Europe.” Europe was built on immigration, as was the US.

What has most radically changed Europe’s culture is big American firms like Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, KFC, GAP and Trump Hotels suffocating the individual fabric of their towns and cities.

Not to mention the tax-avoiding likes of Facebook stealing our data and Amazon destroying our high streets.

On Boris Johnson: “I think he’s got what it takes. He’d make a great Prime Minster.” In other words, like me, he’s a disloyal, deceitful, mad-haired, narcissistic pathological liar utterly consumed with a belief he was born to rule; willing to crush anyone, anything, including his nation’s best interests, to achieve power.

The timing of this leadership call for Johnson, as with his slaughtering of May’s Brexit offer, was clearly deliberate.

It was obvious right-wing chums like Nigel Farage and Rupert Murdoch have bent his ear and asked for a direct intervention that could lead to May being replaced by a hard-liner who would lead the UK out of the EU with no deal.

At a time when May is fighting for her life in a party split by the cult of Johnson, that was the lowest of blows.

Trump’s false back-tracking at a Chequers press conference yesterday about her being “an incredible woman” doing “a fantastic job” only added to the insult.

It is possible to feel sorry for May, but not too much. She diminishes our country’s standing by allowing Trump to take her hand and walk all over her.

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The press conference would have been an ideal chance to strike back at this textbook bully. Once again, she blew it.

Trump goes weak at the knees when meeting male leaders like Kim Jong-un, Emmanuel Macron and Vladimir Putin, yet seems to treat women as irrelevancies. Almost as though his misogyny is more deep-grained than first thought. Not only does he believe powerful men have the right to grab p*ssies, but that women are unfit for powerful jobs.

He has shown open contempt for Angela Merkel, throwing sweets at the German leader when he felt cornered at the G7. Now there is Theresa May.

The New York Times claims he has been undermining and bad-mouthing her for “many months”. It is painful to hear him wax lyrical about his love for Britain. All he knows about it is how much it costs to build a golf course.

He is only here because his Scottish-born mother admired the Queen.

He attacks the Mayor of London as being bad at his job as his city has problems with crime, yet refuses to do anything to stop the appalling levels of gun violence in his country for fear of upsetting the powerful gun lobby.

He says our NHS is “broke”, despite the US spending 16.6% of GDP on health compared to our 9.9%, and life expectancy for Brits being 2.5 years greater than for his citizens, 28 million of whom have no medical insurance.

As with his pal Boris, to this deluded man-child facts are for the birds. The truth is what you choose to tell at any given moment. Lies are what oppon­ents tell when threatening your gain. He almost wears his wanton ignorance as a mark of genius, as though it blocks all the inconvenient truths he believes he is too clever to have to deal with.

I didn’t have a problem with the blimp that went up in London yesterday but, like Trump with Brexit, I would have done it differently.

I’d have sent a US army helicopter, the type that scraped up dying troops from the Vietnamese jungle, to remind the world this little rich boy dodged the draft fives times during that war.

He has come over to Britain to paint himself as a tough, all-American hero. The reality is he’s an embarrassment to a decent, well-mannered people who have a deep respect for this country.

A people who have once again been let down by a cretinous lout.

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