Paul Ryan Says His ‘Car Was Eaten By Animals’
A family of furry critters reportedly gave zero chucks about Rep. Paul Ryan’s car.
“My car was eaten by animals,” the House speaker and Wisconsin Republican said during an appearance at the Economic Club of Washington on Thursday, The Washington Times reports.
According to the Times, Ryan’s security detail has been driving him around since 2015, and so he’s kept his Chevrolet Suburban at his mother’s home in Wisconsin for safekeeping.
In the winter, his mom took a trip to Florida. When she returned, she found the Chevy wouldn’t start. She took it to a mechanic, who discovered that a family of woodchucks were living in Ryan’s car and had chewed up all the wiring.
According to the Humane Society, woodchucks, also known as groundhogs, are known for occasionally causing considerable damage to gardens and crops in a short amount of time. However, they do hibernate in the winter, so it seems a bit odd that they would do this kind of damage to Ryan’s car during their off-season.
It all leads one to suspect these particular woodchucks are Democrats… or maybe just Seth Rogen fans.
That, or Punxsutawney Phil got a little too comfortable with the whole concept of cars.
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